For families of adults
Why holidays turn you back into a teenager
The responsible one, the baby, the peacemaker: roles handed out in childhood persist for decades, and a parent’s care plan or a funeral puts everyone back in costume. Sameside is the first coach built for adult siblings, with a caring worksheet, a rules worksheet, and a family meeting guide.
Caring for a parent, together
The caring worksheet asks each sibling privately what they are doing in hours and in worry, what fair would look like given time, distance, money and capacity, and what they need from the others. The coach totals the visible and invisible care and proposes a written split with named owners and a relief slot for the primary carer.
The family meeting
Thirty minutes, an agenda everyone can add to, ten minutes an item, appreciations first, one decision at the end that becomes an agreement everyone ratifies. Run from one phone.
Direct lines
Families run on triangles: the message goes through the sister. The plan’s first practice for siblings is usually direct lines — take the issue to the person, not about them — and the drop in tension is often immediate.
The research behind this, in two minutes
Why holidays turn you back into a teenager
Adult siblings carry the roles they were given: the responsible one, the baby, the peacemaker. Stress puts everyone back in costume.
Why the message goes through your sister
When two people are tense, a third gets pulled in. Families run on triangles. Taking it direct dissolves them.
Talking so it lands
One person holds the floor, the other paraphrases before replying. Being summarised accurately is most of what feeling heard is.
Questions people ask
How do siblings split care for an elderly parent fairly?
Fair rarely means equal. Agree the criteria first — time, distance, money, capacity — then divide the tasks with named owners, and review monthly.
Other situations
Free to start. Private by design.
Start with twenty minutes, alone. Your personal plan is ready the moment you finish.