For separating parents, before mediation
Walk into mediation knowing what you want to say.
A private check-in for the weeks before your first family mediation session. Five short check-ins on your own phone, then a one-page summary in your own words. You decide whether your mediator sees it. The other parent never does.
The first check-in is free. The programme is £39, or £69 to cover both parents. Adults only.
Before mediation · Jo’s own summary
What I’m hoping for
Keep alternate weekends, and add a Wednesday tea so the gap is never more than four days. School nights stay at one house in term time.
Where I can be flexible
Which weekday. Swapping weekends around birthdays. Who does the Friday pick-up.
Safety and practicalities
Left out unless you tick it.
You choose whether your mediator sees it
Private by design. Your own login. The other parent is never contacted and never sees a word. Nothing you write here goes to an AI model.
Alongside mediation, not instead of it. It prepares you for the session; the mediator runs it. It is a private check-in tool, not care and not legal advice.
You decide what’s shared. Section by section, and only if you want to. A link for your mediator expires in 30 days and you can turn it off.
How it works
Five check-ins. About forty minutes in all.
Paced to your session date. Short answers are fine, and you can go back and change anything before you share.
Where things are now
Start with the facts as they stand today. Short answers are fine; you can come back and change anything.
The children
Mediation is about arrangements that work for the children. This is the part mediators most want you to have thought about.
What you’re hoping for
Your proposal, and where you can move. Going in with both makes a first session far more likely to get somewhere.
The hard parts
The things that are hardest to say in the room. Writing them down first makes them easier to say calmly.
Safety and practicalities
Mediators ask about safety in every MIAM, and they can change how the session runs: separate rooms, separate arrival times, or a different route altogether. This part is left out of your summary unless you choose to include it.
Your one-page summary
Your answers in your own words, grouped the way a mediator reads them. Print it, save it, or make a private link.
What it helps you do
- Put the children’s needs first, in writing, before the room gets tense.
- Know your proposal, and where you can move, before anyone asks.
- Name the hard topics, so you can raise them calmly.
- Tell your mediator what they need to know about safety and access, if you choose to.
- Arrive with one page instead of a head full of everything.
What it won’t do
- Contact the other parent, or your mediator. Ever.
- Tell you whether to stay, leave, or get back together.
- Judge who’s right, or label anyone.
- Give legal advice, or replace the mediator’s own meeting with you.
- Share anything you haven’t chosen to share.
If you’re not safe
Your safety comes before any session.
If you’re afraid of the other parent, mediation may not be right, and your mediator can tell you that at your first meeting. Specialist services can help you plan, whatever you decide. They’re linked at the top of every page, with an Exit button that leaves instantly.
Emergency: call 999. If you can’t speak, press 55 when prompted.
National Domestic Abuse Helpline, run by Refuge: 0808 2000 247, free, 24 hours
Women’s Aid: live chat and local services
Respect: Men’s Advice Line 0808 801 0327; Respect Phoneline 0808 802 4040
Samaritans: 116 123, free, any time
- Every support route, including if you’re worried about a child
Pricing
One payment. Nothing renews.
You pay for yourself. Covering the other parent is offered, never assumed, and their check-ins stay private to them either way.
Start
Free
The first check-in, “Where things are now”, so you can see how it works.
Before mediation
£39 once
All five check-ins, your summary and a private link for your mediator, plus ten weeks of the co-parenting tools on your seat.
Both parents
£69 once
Cover both seats at the start, or add the other parent’s later for £30. Each of you still sees only your own.
Full pricing, including the co-parenting subscription and plans for couples and families.
After the session
The arrangements are agreed; the co-parenting starts. The week written down, changes asked for in writing, messages that don’t escalate, and the children out of the middle. It works on your own if the other parent isn’t ready.
Not separating?
Sameside also has private check-ins and an eight-week plan for couples and for families of adults: each of you answers alone, and nobody sees anyone’s answers.
Questions
Things parents ask first.
Does the other parent need to sign up?
No. Before mediation is for one parent, on their own. The other parent is never contacted, never told you’re using it, and never sees anything you write. If they want to prepare too, they can start their own, and neither of you sees the other’s.
Will my mediator see what I write?
Only if you decide to share it. At the end you get a one-page summary in your own words. You tick which sections go in, then print it, save it as a PDF, or make a private link that expires after 30 days and that you can turn off at any time. Sameside never sends anything to anyone.
Is this legal advice, or a replacement for the MIAM?
Neither. Sameside is a private check-in tool, not care and not legal advice. Your mediator will still meet you on your own first (the Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting), and that’s where they ask about safety and whether mediation is right for you. Sameside helps you arrive at that meeting, and the first joint session, knowing what you want to say.
What if I’m afraid of the other parent?
Tell your mediator before any joint session. They can arrange separate rooms or separate arrival times, or tell you whether mediation is right at all; where there has been domestic abuse you may not have to attend a MIAM before going to court. Specialist services can help you plan safely: the links to Refuge, Women’s Aid, Respect, Samaritans and 999 are at the top of every page. Sameside will never tell you to stay or to leave.
Does the £500 mediation voucher cover this?
No. The Family Mediation Voucher Scheme helps pay for mediation itself, through an accredited mediator. Sameside is separate and costs £39. Your mediator can tell you whether you’re eligible for the voucher.
My session is next week. Is there time?
Yes. The five check-ins take about forty minutes in all. Put your session date in and Sameside spreads them out for you; if it’s tomorrow, do them tonight.
Is anything I write sent to an AI?
Not in Before mediation. Your check-ins and your summary are built without any language model: your words, grouped, nothing rewritten. Nothing you write is ever used to train a model.
For family mediators
What the parent does, what you receive, and what Sameside is not. Read the one-page explainer.
Start with six minutes, on your own.
The first check-in is free, and nobody else will know you’ve started.