The method
The Sameside method
A good relationship clinician does five things: assesses properly, forms a working understanding before intervening, draws on evidence-based models rather than instinct, measures whether it is working, and knows when to refer on. Sameside is built to do the same five things, in software, privately.
“You’ve each answered honestly and separately, and you’ve both chosen to do this together. That’s the hardest part done. The work is on the cycle, not on either of you.”
Assessment
Eight sections, about twenty minutes, modelled on the structure of the Gottman Relationship Checkup: friendship, appreciation, turning towards, conflict, repair, shared meaning, trust; ten everyday-life areas rated for satisfaction and tension; needs, what lands, situation tags, boundaries, consent; a private wellbeing check; and the Couples Satisfaction Index as a baseline.
Formulation
Before any plan is written, Sameside computes where you agree and disagree across sixteen areas, which areas carry tension, and which pull-apart pattern shows up. The coach then writes a formulation — presenting concerns, the cycle (each move framed as protective), strengths, maintaining factors, external stress, goals, phases, and how you will know it is working — and shows it to you. You can correct it, and your corrections feed every later decision.
Evidence base
A structured knowledge base selects, per circle, from the Gottman Method, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Integrative Behavioural Couple Therapy and OurRelationship, attachment research, Bowen and structural family systems, PREP and the Speaker–Listener technique, Nonviolent Communication, solution-focused and narrative approaches, CBT for couples, Relational Life Therapy, Imago and motivational interviewing — each with its interventions, step by step.
Measurement-based care
The CSI-4 at baseline, every check-in and at a checkup. Each weekly review is a session: it reads the trend, chooses a phase — stabilise, build or stretch — and rewrites next week’s practices when it needs to. A change of three points is real change.
Guardrails and referral
Every shared sentence passes a second check: no verdicts, no labels, no off-limits topics, no private wording. The coach refuses joint work when there is fear, control, violence, an ongoing undisclosed betrayal, active dependence or severe distress, and refers to Relate and BACP counsellors when a person would serve you better.
What it is not
Sameside is a coaching tool, not therapy. It does not diagnose, treat, or replace a counsellor. It gives the structure and depth of the method, privately, and says plainly when you need a person.
Free to start. Private by design.
Read the formulation the coach writes for your circle, and correct it. It listens.